The onion is a great spoof-newspaper I read habitually. If you haven't caught wind of this fantastic weekly journal, then the basic idea is that The Onion reports news as per usual newspaper protocol , except every article is outlandishly false, and downright hysterical. You can go here to see what I mean. [link]


ANYWAY. I've had a ton of silly ideas for spoof articles, and decided to share one of them with you. Hope you enjoy (:


Man Hit By Ambulance In Front Of Hospital, Helicoptered In.


Edina, MN - In a rare coincidence last Saturday, a man walking out of the Edina Medical Hospital was struck by an Edina Hospital Ambulance.


Delton Brenley, 36, had just completed his third succesfull
colonoscopy exam of the week when the unforeseen happened. Near the front entrance of Edina Medical, Brenely was celebrating his renewed bill of health with a cigarette he had bought from one of the nurses.

" I felt great, on top of the world. Hell, at this rate, my colon will live to see 90! " he told reporters Monday.

But Brenley's colon would soon be emptied as a mistaken turn by an Edina ambulance driver resulted in a fatal collision. Brenley then reported that "everything got dark"

Matthew Fiegal, 24, was driving the ambulance at the time, carrying 76 year old heart-attack victim, Emery Muriel. He had been going too fast, he says, and missed the hospital's emergency room entrance driveway by only a few feet. A few feet from the E.R. was the visitor and outpatient entry, and a crumpled and severly traumatized Delton Brenely. Feigal reports calling for immediate air support, and a wheelchair for Emery Muriel, 76. At the roof of the hospital, an Edina medical rescue helicopter prepares to lift off and transport Brenley safely back to Edina Medical Hospital for treament. It arrived on scene half an hour later.

Brenley was suffering serious blood loss, and most of his bone had multiple fractures, which made hoisting the crumpled man into the chopper's harness difficult.

" Took us like 2 hours to get 'em on it, he kept screaming for a stretcher. In times of great stress and trauma, it's common to be manic and insensible. " Feigal remembers.

After much deliberation and the help of Edina staff, Delton Brenley was safely strapped to the harness and lifted back to the roof of the hospital, where another hour was spent removing him onto a stretcher, wheeled down 4 flights of stairs and countless occurances of "accidently rolling the patient off and recovering him to his stretcher"

Brenley died Tuesday afternoon from critical blood loss and impact trauma.

Brenley's father, Robert Brenley, was to appear in court Thursday in a lawsuit against the Hospital, but was killed en-route early that morning by an engine explosion near the Edina County Fire station.